Ah, Facebook, that wonderful social networking site. The place where a huge number of my "friends" spew their (sometimes messy) emotions and opinions all over my computer screen.

Recently, one of my "friends" took me off their friends list. This was a person who I never really talked to in the real world, I think that she was a relative of a co-worker or something. I'm quite sure that she added me as I am not in the habit of adding people who I do not know how I know. I probably accepted because I wanted to figure out who she was.

Thus I and my former "friend" have mildly rubbed shoulders in the Land of Facebook for the past year. I don't remember anything of interest happening due to the fact that she was my "friend", other than perhaps having more requests for applications to ignore, wall posts to block and status updates to read.

However, back to the point. My dear "friend" removed me, because her grandmother died and I had not commented or called her. We live in a "small town" and "everybody" knew what had happened. And to be fair, I was aware, on the hazy edges of my consciousness, that her grandmother was dead. Certainly that is sad. Death is awful. Grieving can be difficult.

However, I am also of the mind that grieving is a personal thing. I am not suggesting that people do not need other people during their grieving process, but did she really need someone that she barely knew to tell her that they were sorry for her loss? Apparently yes, because she went through her Facebook "friends" and deleted everyone who did not stand by her in "her time of need". Honestly, when my (only remaining) grandmother dies, I will not expect anyone to pay homage to her on my Facebook page, nor will that be the criteria for who I keep on my list. I feel like Facebook is a place to lightly connect with other people, a way to communicate, and a source of amusement, but it is not a place where one should be looking for the fulfillment of human relationships. Even more so, it is not a place to become a tragic star of self pity. Why would anyone want to be that pathetic?

Perhaps I am being harsh, but she seems to believe that she is punishing myself and all of the other people who were cut from the illustrious ranks of her friend list. I find it ill mannered to use it like a weapon like that, like a five year old uninviting someone from their birthday party. (I outgrew that behaviour..? When I was five maybe? My patience for it deserted me quite a while ago too.)

But anyway, fine, delete me. I really do not care. What I do care is to not have to read long whining rants about how she now knows who her "real friends" are, and so forth. I find it tedious, whiney and arrogant to the extreme, as if an outward showing of sympathy is the only way that one could possibly empathize with her. There are many people out there, and no doubt some in her expelled list, who are not comfortable talking about death. Some people do not know what to say. Likely some people did not know, because our "small town" does not completely revolve around her.

I, however, do not fit into any of those categories. I've got no excuse. We had the sort of relationship that we should probably never have been Facebook "friends" to begin with. I knew, and while I did feel bad for her, I did not think that it was my business to say anything about it. I barely know her. I never met her grandmother. Besides, her grandmother was not the first grandmother to die in the history of the planet. I probably never would have even noticed that I had been removed if someone had not mentioned it to me.

Fortunately though, my invitation to the pity party has been revoked, because I do not have to see my ex-Facebook "friend's" pitiful status updates any longer. I lose no sleep over the whole petty ordeal. Plus, she gave me some nice food for thought, and enough irritation to motivate me to write a post about it. Lucky!

Ultimately, my ex-friend basically did me the favour of shaving off one of my Facebook whiners. I have plenty more where she came from. I sometimes wish that I could take a big eneedle and inject the whiners with a bit of stiff backed stoicism. But sadly, only in my imagination does that actually work... *sigh*